Desperate centrist absocs searching for a ‘moderate’ Tory to support

Social Murder exponent and gleeful destroyer of Windrush citizens’ lives Theresa May finally sodded off.  The wall of filth candidates’ list to replace her is populated exclusively and exhaustively with venality, heartlessness and well-schooled stupidity.

Mugshots of possible candidates for Tory leadership

Above are ten possible candidates: So much corruption, so much hatred of society and of humanity.  Highest-bidder-wins Johnson is the favourite to win the contest and to be as calamitous a prime minister as he was mayor of London.  Every town will give away £50 million to Johnson’s friends for fake garden bridges and store unusable water-cannons in a yard.

But, fear not, because centrists, forever frightened that Jeremy Corbyn will be prime minister soon, concocted support for imaginary moderates in the Tory party as potential leaders.  

Rory Stewart
Pictured above (far left, bottom row) Stewart is the most visible of the pretend Tory moderates to be a possible leadership candidate and desperate centrists hurled themselves at the opportunity to deliver their “he’s not as bad as the others” routines.

Run-of-the-melt satirical comedy show The Last Leg celebrated Stewart as if he was a great achiever because, for no apparent reason, Stewart once walked across a desert.

People’s Vote protagonist Femi Oluwole reacted with pretend straw clutching when Stewart claimed he wouldn’t accept a job in a Johnson cabinet: “At this point, I really don’t care whether Rory Stewart is being genuinely decent or just positioning himself as a reasonable alternative.  We need as many Tories as possible taking this stance!”  It wasn’t clear if the “we” that Oluwole mentioned was his fellow anti-socialists or the general public.

Notorious absoc Ian Dunt’s straw clutching was real: “I am going to spend the leadership contest thinking a) it’s a shame Rory Stewart isn’t doing better and b) I hope Rory Stewart doesn’t get it because Brexit would ruin him just like the others.”  But, on Stewart’s proposals on Brexit, Dunt said “I obviously like the sound of what he’s selling.”

Editor-in-chief” of New Statesman Jason Cowley struggled to contain his excitement: “Stewart is a genuine original.  He also has limitless self-belief.  Spurned by David Cameron, he has been waiting a long time for a moment to introduce himself to a wider public. This is his moment…and he’s seizing it.”

In desperate Guardian columnist Martha Gill stated firmly that “[of likely candidates] Rory Stewart would best serve the interests of the country as Tory leader.”  Presumably, Gill meant Stewart was the least Tory of the Tories?  

After claiming the only reason May failed to reach a Brexit conclusion was a lack of intelligence, Gill said “of all the virtues we could wish for in our next prime minister, intelligence is the most important.  And this is Stewart’s strength.  He is clever, he was a Harvard professor.”  By “clever” Gill meant Stewart’s Etonian education had acquired him roles he didn’t deserve to enhance his CV.  (80% of people in Britain think Stewart is clever.) 

Even if Stewart is clever, which is very doubtful, he is still a Tory.  Stewart’s commitment to Social Murder was as fervent as any other Tory.


Penny Mordaunt
In the same desperate Guardian article Kate Maltby proposed Mordaunt because the latter “believes seriously in tackling the climate emergency, is a social liberal and is experienced in global governance as UK governor of the World Bank.”

In its own words “the World Bank’s mission is to end extreme poverty and promote shared prosperity,” but only within the exploitative restrictions of the capitalist system: Hundreds of billions of dollars are needed for countries to provide critical services to their citizens to end poverty.  Debt financing is crucial to meet these needs but borrowing countries must be prudent and transparent in taking on debt.”  That is, huge debt or die are the options the World Bank proposed to “end extreme poverty.”

How committed was Penny Mordaunt to “ending extreme poverty?”


Penny Mordaunt was not only wholly uncommitted to ending extreme poverty in Britain, she actively created extreme poverty.  Perhaps, Mordaunt’s experience at World Bank encouraged her to think that the poorest in Britain should borrow from a loan shark or die, in accordance with World Bank philosophy. 

How committed was Penny Mordaunt to “tackling the climate emergency?”


Not much.

Amber Rudd
In the same Guardian article Polly Toynbee said “Amber Rudd would be best at leading the party back into the realms of ordinary Conservatism.”  

What is Amber Rudd’s “ordinary Conservatism?”

Rudd was Home Secretary when Windrush citizens were deprived of healthcare, the right to work, access to welfare, access to pensions and, consequently, became destitute and homeless.  Many were deported.  Some died prematurely.  All are waiting for compensation.

Rudd lost that job but a few months later she was appointed as chief Social Murderer at Department of Work and Pensions (DWP).  Thereat she continued and enhanced extremely vicious policies against people in need of financial assistance, particularly people with disabilities and chronic or terminal illnesses.  She remained committed to Universal Credit, a change to welfare provision that was designed to cause destitution, debt, homelessness and death.

A United Nations report by Philip Alston exposed the effects of DWP policy.  Rudd’s response to the report was contemptuous denial.  On the same day of the publication of the report the DWP had a wraparound newspaper advert that promoted fake representation of how Universal Credit operated; the advert was designed to not look like an advert in order to try to con readers.  That was the “ordinary conservatism” that Toynbee wanted to see prevail.

In the same Guardian article Gaby Hinsliff said “Rudd is the only remain candidate with the courage for the job.”  How much courage did it take to deliberately make and enact policies that destroyed people’s lives and livelihoods?

Sam Gyimah
Femi Oluwole interrupted his campaign against Labour for the Peterborough by-election by adding Gyimah to his list of Tories he supports.  “YES! YES! YES! THANK YOU Sam Gyimah!!! Oi!! Tories! You now have a contender who isn’t going to “f*** business” (Boris) via no-deal or turn the UK into a “slave state” (Mogg) via the deal. If you want ANY chance of saving your party, Sam Gyimah is your Obi Wan!”

But Gyimah voted against UK’s membership of EU more often than he voted in favour.


Gyimah’s voting record on Social Murder was as consistent as any other Tory.


Centrists are desperate for something, anything, anyone, that would prevent a Labour government led by Jeremy Corbyn.  

absoc n. Centrist politician, activist or journalist who opportunistically supports any political viewpoint or action in order to oppose socialism; acronym of ‘anything but socialism’

Related blogs
Social Murder
DWP’s contempt for its victims and for the UN
Amber Rudd

Desperate centrist absocs searching for a ‘moderate’ Tory to support

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