EU departure: Tories are deluded and couldn’t care less

Yesterday Theresa May declared the Tories’ strategy for the process of leaving the EU.  The outline of this strategy, Plan for Britain, includes twelve ‘objectives’ listed below, followed by brief analysis of each.

1. Certainty: whenever we can, we will provide it. And we can confirm today that the Government will put the final deal that is agreed between the UK and EU to a vote in both Houses of Parliament.

The first sentence means the government has neither the knowledge nor the inclination to provide any certainty whatsoever.  Only the ‘final deal’ will be subject to a parliamentary vote.  Thus, however gormless that deal may be, MPs will be given only a binary choice on it.  Of course, there may never be a ‘final deal.’

2. Control of our own laws: we will bring an end to the jurisdiction of the European Court of Justice in Britain. Because we will not have truly left the European Union if we are not in control of our own laws.

In the first sentence, “we” refers to the government.  In the second, does “we” refer to the government or to all British people?  Clearly, complete control of British law in the hands of the Tories is extremely worrying for justice and fairness.

3. Strengthen the Union: we must strengthen the precious Union between the four nations of the United Kingdom. We will work very carefully to ensure that – as powers are repatriated back to Britain – the right powers are returned to Westminster and the right powers are passed to the devolved administrations. We will make sure that no new barriers to living and doing business within our Union are created.

Leaving the EU and the future of the UK are two separate issues, but the Tories have chosen to conflate them.  This third objective is nothing to do with the EU, it is a pathetic attempt to pick a fight with the SNP. 

4. Maintain the Common Travel Area with Ireland: we will work to deliver a practical solution that allows the maintenance of the Common Travel Area with the Republic of Ireland, while protecting the integrity of the United Kingdom’s immigration system.

Does this mean border controls in Ireland or not?  Does the Tory plan for leaving the EU conflict with the Good Friday Agreement?  Will people from the Republic of Ireland be able to travel to Northern Ireland but not be able to work, live or attend school there?  “We will work to deliver” is a long-winded way of saying “we just haven’t got a clue what to do.”

5. Control of immigration: the message from the public before and during the referendum campaign was clear: Brexit must mean control of the number of people who come to Britain from Europe. We will continue to attract the brightest and the best to work or study in Britain but there must be control. 

No, that was not the clear message from the public.  That was the clear message of the government and its lackeys who wanted to shift blame from the consequences of government policy onto an arbitrary other – immigrants.  

6. Rights for EU nationals in Britain, and British nationals in the EU: we want to guarantee these rights as early as we can. We have told other EU leaders that we can offer EU nationals here this certainty, as long as this is reciprocated for British citizens in EU countries.

No-one is stopping the Tories from “guaranteeing these rights.”  

7. Protect workers’ rights: as we translate the body of European law into our domestic regulations, we will ensure that workers’ rights are fully protected and maintained.

LIARS!  The financial gangsters, for whom the Tories work, are rubbing their hands with glee at the prospect of basic workers’ rights being removed following departure from the EU.

8. Free trade with European markets: as a priority we will pursue a bold and ambitious Free Trade Agreement with the European Union. This agreement should allow for the freest possible trade in goods and services between Britain and EU member states. It cannot though mean membership of the EU’s Single Market. That would mean complying with European Court of Justice rulings, free movement and other EU rules and regulations without having a vote on what those rules and regulations are. And because we will no longer be members of the Single Market, we will not be required to contribute huge sums to the EU budget. If we contribute to some specific EU programmes that we wish to participate in, it will be for us to decide. 

Welcome to the Twilight Zone.  The Mandarins at the EU and throughout European governments will be laughing their heads off at this garbled nonsense.  The Tories want their cake and want to eat it, and have someone else’s cake, and eat that too, and not pay for any of the cakes, or abide by health and safety regulations regarding the cakes’ preparation and storage.

9. New trade agreements with other countries: it is time for Britain to become a global trading nation, striking trade agreements around the world. Through the Common Commercial Policy and the Common External Tariff, full Customs Union membership prevents us from doing this – but we do want to have a customs agreement with the EU and have an open mind on how we achieve this end. 

The Tories are being economical with the truth when they claim EU regulations prevent global trade for the UK.  “We have an open mind on how we achieve this end” is another intervention from the ghost of Brian Connolly.  For the Tories, “global trading nation” translates as a tax-haven without workers’ rights, designed for the benefit of an elite gang of exploitative financial gangsters.

10. The best place for science and innovation: we will continue to collaborate with our European partners on major science, research and technology initiatives.

Will the “European partners” want to continue to do so?

11. Co-operation in the fight against crime and terrorism: we want our future relationship with the EU to include practical arrangements on matters of law enforcement and intelligence. 

Surely, any government would want such an arrangement with any other government?

12. A smooth, orderly Brexit: we want to have reached an agreement about our future partnership by the time the two year Article 50 process has concluded. From that point onwards, we expect a phased process of implementation. We will work to avoid a disruptive cliff-edge.

“We want to have reached,” “we expect” and “we will work to avoid” typify the Tories’ hand.  They have nothing.  While the others at the table have potential flushes, straights and fours of a kind, the Tories have an expired library card and Mr. Bun The Baker.


The twelve objectives listed above are a mixture of lies, vacuous Unwinesque nonsense and deliberate petulant provocation.  There is no plan for departure from the EU.  The Tories do not know how negotiations with the EU will proceed and they have no inkling whatsoever of the consequences.  

All the Tories do know is that, when Britain has left the EU, the gangrenous exploitative financial gangster scum are expecting a mighty windfall courtesy of Tories’ aggressive assault on workers’ rights, the denial of access to justice and a plethora of friendly tax-loopholes.  The Tories see Britain as a feeding ground for the gluttonous filth for whom the Tory party has always been the gimp.

EU departure: Tories are deluded and couldn’t care less

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